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Battle: Los Angeles

Intro

Aliens, US Marines, and LA, actually not LA but close to it, these are the makings of an amazing movie. Battle Los Angeles has all of these and fails to use them properly making a vaguely cool clusterfuck unrealistic movie that fails on most levels. The main reason is rating but we’ll get to that later. This movie looked amazing on trailers and truly enticed me with its stellar soundtrack and its dreary outlook on an alien invasion. The movie creates a scenario far from this.

 

Plot

The plot of this movie is so clichéd it might as well have featured John Wayne or Bruce Willis as the lead role. The main character a 20 year veteran of the Marines Staff Sergeant Nantz, who blames himself for the death of two of his Marines(Even though their death wasn’t his fault), has to take lead of a platoon of fresh recruits, including the brother of a Marine that died under his command, and one veteran Marine who suffers from PTSD, in an oncoming alien invasion. This may sound good in theory but doesn’t work out well. The beginning of the movie isn’t bad as it is realistic how the Marines respond and how they are deployed into the Area of Operations but then the movie starts to decline as the director kills of the non essential characters. The Marine’s are tasked with rescuing civilians at a police station and on the way their take some casualties due to the fact that the young lieutenant is inexperienced and Nantz has to take charge of the platoon, who of course he has to rally with a pep talk. Then the platoon, now reduced to ten guys, stops the invasion single handedly. The main problem with this movie was the unrealistic nature, I mean from the trailers I expected a Black Hawk Down with aliens and Marines instead of Rangers. Instead I get some kiddy-fucking movie that is so unrealistic it bores the shit out of me. Number one: why is there no profanity I mean number one they’re Marines they’re going to cuss especially if aliens are invading. Number two: why is there no gore an explosion will take off a limb, it will. The story is also way too happy I mean seriously 10 Marines are not gonna find a solution to an alien invasion. It should have been as dark as the trailer with a bleak beginning and a dark dreary ending. Then it would have been an amazing movie because it would have a degree of realism that anyone can enjoy instead it’s a happy go lucky movie about a group of jolly Marines who stop an alien invasion.

 

Acting

This movie has an impressive cast and that is where the praise ends because they act like idiots. I mean I really think the director has seen too many Die Hard movies because these guys act like a bunch of superheroes instead of Marines they don’t maintain communications with their command, they fire their weapons on fully automatic and for some reason without training they can drive an APC. Each Marine is a stereo type of a different ethnic group and they spit out line like “I’d rather be in Afghanistan” lines like those dumb down the movie. Aaron Eckhart plays the title character and he seriously nails the role of mourning Sergeant but over plays it like crazy to point where he seems like a whiney bitch. Then there’s Jim Parrack who is amazing in True Blood but is on and off in this movie some times he’s not bad but other times he’s strangely disconnected from his character. The rest of the actors don’t uphold a high standard of acting and aren’t worth mentioning.

 

Effects

The only thing that stands out in this movie is the amazing effects they are not only realistic but are beautiful. When the alien drop pods fall from the sky the ring of smoke and trail of fire are impressive. The sets are well made and suited for a movie far better than Battle Los Angeles. The effects and pyrotechnics are amazing and when you see the desolate and abandoned Los Angeles it makes you want to weep and then throw up over the shitty acting. I mean seriously this movie is beautiful and I just can get over how shitty a movie this cool can be.

Conclusion

This movie was sorely disappointing and was just a chore to sit through and didn’t live up to my high expectations. The trailers were amazing and I would rather watch the 2 to 5 minutes of the amazing trailer. The 2 hour movie is not worth a $20 ticket or a $30 Blu-Ray or even a $10 DVD. The movie was not creative, special or fun and deserves the bad press it gets.

 

The Trailer

Battle Los Angeles Movie Trailer 2 Official (HD)

 

 

Rating

1/5



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  • Granadaahh

    Oh fuck you. Ive watched this movie a number of times and its one of the best military movies out so far in recent years. Saving Private Ryan is still at the top but there hasnt been anything of that sort in a long time. 

  • The Wyrm Ouroboros

    Wow.  If I was just going by your blog, I’d see the movie.  Someone this incoherent who doesn’t like a movie, there must be something going for it.  Makes me wonder how you’d review ‘Remains of the Day’…